This should be the end of the Drip posts. Today we finally have hot water. God has really taught me some tough stuff about myself during this time.
First I will say I did not nag hubby about getting hot water. In fact when he said we need a water heater I said well it has to wait till tax return we just spent our money on the walls that were caving in. (I know it isn't tax time and I said we have hot water keep reading that is a lesson to learn.) I think that surprised my family because months of no hot showers would create irritable people. I think our mission trip this past summer prepared me for no hot water. See God has a reason for everything. So let move on to what I'm learning.
Why do I find it easy to give to others to help them yet I find it embarrassing to ask for help? You see a few years ago, at our other church each year when we went to a Woman of Faith conference I would buy 2 tickets and ask the church to give one ticket to someone who needed it. I felt good doing that. I also would feel very loved when I was on the end of someone giving to us.
Life became a challenge the past few weeks. You know from reading my "A Drip" blogs we had major problems in our bathroom. We live in a ranch home with one main bath. We have a 1/2 bath in a basement. So our daily life style changed a little the past weeks. Then last Thursday I found out I lost my job. The mother of the babies I watch quit her job resulting in me losing my income. That brings me to Sunday when I found out if we want hot water we need a new water heater. We just didn't have the money. Hubby and I shared this in our small group and they told us to ask the church. We talked about it and did do just that but I must say it was the most uncomfortable thing I can remember doing. Why was it so hard?
That got me to thinking. If we can't provide for our needs am I failure? In my eyes yes, in God's eyes no. If I can't provide does that mean I'm low class? In my eyes yes, in God's eyes no. Does that mean if people find out at church we needed help we will not be accepted. In my mind yes. I know God will always accept me no matter what and he will always provide what I need. (Not what I want.)
So I have humbly accepted the help for the church and am very thankful. I now will work on my view of who I am in compared to who God sees me as. I am his Beloved.