What is it with me? God keeps taking me out of my comfort zone. Monday night was a hard night for me. This may be a bit long so I am letting you know ahead of time.
Our church has a “Riverside Ministry”. This is where they feed about 125 homeless people in a town that if filled with violence and crime. They do this every Monday night. They use to do it on grills down by the river, but since it got cold another church allows us to use their fellowship hall, because they are closer to the area.
Someone got it into their head that wouldn’t it be nice if the church choir sang for them before they ate. Now that means going into this area that just two weeks ago 3 people were killed, gang related. There are also drive by shootings from time to time. One of the men, Mark who helps out, and lives in the same town agreed with me it is safer to walk in New York City then the area of downtown.
We told our daughter where we were going and she says, “so when you don’t come home I’ll know you were shot by the guys going around shooting people.” She didn’t help my nerves.
So Monday night we had to be there about 6:00. I made my husband go along as my bodyguard. We got there early and sat in the car till I saw someone I knew arrive. At last our asst. pastor’s wife, Helen arrived so we followed her in. She tells me to hold my breath walking past the people waiting to come in. (Now that tells me a lot.) Once inside my husband see Mark and walks away. I hurried over and said “Don’t leave me standing by myself again.” By now I’m getting so “worked up” I felt like crying. A friend who works in the kitchen called me in there and said stay in here with us till they need you that way you can watch but won’t be seen. Oh the tears where so near. So a few ladies said lets pray for her and Helen prayed for me. I must say the tears where gone instantly.
Time to sing, so I went up to the front of the room with the other choir members. As we were singing instead of looking at the people, I chose to look at Mark who just happened to be stand at the right place so it looked like I was looking at people. We sang for ½ hour and everything went well. When we were done we just sat for a little bit on the stage as the homeless people went to get there food. That is when it happened. A homeless man came up to me, he had a cell phone and showed me a picture he took of us singing. Then he asks me what is wrong with me I look scared. Quick thinking and I said “I had a hard day.” When he walked away I turned to hubby and said “time to go”.
This whole thing got me to thinking. Yes my heart and actions were in the right place because I went and sang. I could have skipped out. It is my thought process that I need to change. My thought process was Satan on Monday night but I took victory over Satan and did not give in this time. So rather than feeling down on why I couldn’t enjoy and service I am rejoicing because Satan didn’t win out and God could use me. I’m sure now that I did this God will take it up a notch in my comfort zone so I learn to completely 100% rely on Him.